Have you struck a printer in anger when it spat not your holy scripture on paper?

Did you decry your laptop connection as “slow” when it failed to load this holy webpage in a couple of seconds?

Have you failed to maintain your PC, leaving its inside to overheat, stuffed with dust?

Well you’re in luck: SALVATION IS AT HAND. Just click on the most appropriate technology-related sin and execute the indicated function to reserve your place in H34V3N. Rejoice!